


Cracked Reactor

by Royswordsman (RoySwordsman)



Category: Captain America, Iron Man (Comic), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-22
Updated: 2012-05-22
Packaged: 2017-11-05 20:19:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/410604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoySwordsman/pseuds/Royswordsman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark is suffering. He has to make a choice between two people he cares for, it's a choice that he just has to make as though he's being forced. It's a choice he'd only make in death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cracked Reactor

Tony was sat in his office as per usual - with the dull lighting that he refused to brighten. Tony Stark was a nocturnal creature and so recreating the night atmosphere helped him think better. He could hardly sleep throughout the night, not with what had happened. 

So here’s the down-low on the whole situation; Tony was quite happily in a relationship with Pepper Potts - the busty redhead with a flair for organisation accompanied with a personality that packed a punch. She would be the one to put Tony in line if there was a problem of any sort, or at least attempt to. She was cute, funny and the fact that she would keep Tony’s life straightened out, ironed to perfection with the occasional fold of course, but every crease was due to Tony’s own doing, that was what won it over for him. She was his rock.   
Pepper and Tony had been in a relationship for roughly a year. It was nearing their anniversary, in fact. Being in a relationship was a big deal for Tony, he’d never thought in a million years that someone would put up with his shenanigans for an entire year. But all in all, Tony was happy with what he had.   
And then the fossil was uncovered, and obviously, he saw him as a fossil in the most loving way. Steve Rogers was thawed from the ice and burst into Tony’s world with a bang. Tony had heard of the guy, the hero, the man that all of America aspired toward but when he was right there in front of him, in the flesh, he became cynical and somewhat threatened. The whole superhero get-up was his deal and people loved him for it until Steve was defrosted. Now everyone loved Captain America; selfless, heroic and the epitome of the underdog story. It was something that everyone could relate to, as opposed to Tony being a billionaire, a genius and not too shabby in the workshop. Steve was your stereotypical born hero and Tony... Wasn’t.   
The moment that Steve was thawed out of the ice was the moment things were turned upside down for Tony. They had been getting closer and closer as they had to work together on countless missions. Admittedly, Tony would spend far more time with Steve than he would with Pepper. They bonded in a way that no one else could really understand; inside jokes, constant arguing which was usually followed by an almost instant apology from Steve (not on all occasions, but on most). The truth was that Steve couldn’t bear to see Tony upset so he would do everything in his path to make things right. Steve would protect him, or at least attempt to before Tony pushed him back. He could handle it. He could look after himself, but it was nice for someone to care about him and to show they did once in awhile. 

That was the back-story of it all. Steve had since then confessed his love to Tony, his undying affection which made the billionaires heart swell with glee. His hero, the super soldier that he had looked up to for so long had finally seen him in a different light to others. He managed to cover up his emotions quite well and not give too much away; he wasn’t emotional like that either. It was a wonder how Steve had even managed to fall for a guy who constantly masked his instabilities and sometimes lack of confidence in humour. Tony had stood out to him and earned his respect and much more which internally, was what he dreamt of for so long.   
But it wasn’t something he could handle. Pepper had said that she loved Tony too, only to be greeted by the same response,   
“I care for you too.”   
That’s the exact response he had given to Steve. What else was he supposed to say? He really cared for the two people that seemed to love him. Tony may have had a playboy reputation but there was no way he was a cheater. Eventually he knew that an ultimatum would have to be made, but why? Why couldn’t things just stay the way they were. For once he had this feeling of overwhelming guilt; he couldn’t cheat on either of them. He cared too much and that’s something that he never thought he’d be saying to himself. 

There was a reason that Tony Stark didn’t do relationships, he would get far too invested if by any chance someone did manage to grab his attention and he would much rather invest himself within his work rather than in frivolous emotions which made his heart ache with turmoil. Robots and machinery would never do this. Sure they’d make his head hurt with frustration but not create this sort of pain in his chest. 

So there he was, alone, in the rare silence that he managed to get - escaping from both Steve and Pepper. He couldn’t bear to look either of them in the eyes, not after Steve had said that he loved Tony. He loved him back and that’s what hurt him but he couldn’t ruin his reputation of being a ladies’ man. Tony wasn’t gay but there was just something about Steve. The Super Soldier was his exception to the rule. He would walk over fire for that guy and it was clear that Steve would do the same, hell, Steve was the guy who used to lecture him about putting his own life on the line for someone he loved, but never had Tony ever thought that he would be the one that he was talking about.   
And then there was Pepper who would greet him every morning with a smile, prepare fresh coffee for him, tell him what he had to do and how to dress and then end the morning ritual with a loving kiss. Like Steve, she was his exception, like he thought earlier, he wouldn’t be caught dead in a long term commitment but Pepper had him so secure and once more, they would do anything for each other. Pepper had a distant sort of admiration for Tony whilst Steve wasn’t afraid to confront him about how he felt. 

Emotional investment sucks.

This ongoing circular argument seemed to be circulating Tony’s mind over and over until he had managed to give himself the migraine of a lifetime and trying to focus on work certainly wasn’t working in the slightest. He kept hearing Steve saying “I love you” in his head and then Pepper saying the exact same. It wasn’t that Tony was incapable of love he just didn’t want to love anyone. He knew that he would hurt them. He had a very self destructive nature which he was well aware of and he didn’t want to drag anyone else down with him. If something was going to happen, he was going to be held responsible. He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t ruin someone else’s life. 

Tony stared into the half empty glass of whiskey he had poured, the fragrant smell wafting up his nostrils and making him shudder. He was allowed the occasional drink but Steve and Pepper hated him drinking which gave him, considering the circumstances, even more of a reason to do so. In a way he wanted them both to hate him so it would be easier but nothing was ever really that simple.   
He held the glass to his lips and tilted his head back as he downed the drink, feeling the warm sensation buzz through his throat followed by that bitter aftertaste - the kick that he loved. Tony had spoken to Pepper about what had happened with Steve and she replied, of course with shock,   
“I was jealous. I knew how much time you were spending with him but really... Just do what makes you happy and I’ll be happy.”   
Internally Tony was screaming “I hate you. I hate you for being so understanding that’s not what I expected to happen.” He planned out various scenarios in his mind and that wasn’t one of the outcomes. He thought she would hit him, throw something at him, and storm out in pure fury and rage but no. She handles things calmly and collectively with a smile on her face. It wasn’t a smile of happiness, it was a smile of sadness, one that said “I don’t want to let you go but I want you to be happy.” And those smiles were like daggers in his windpipes, causing him to fall into utter silence. Tony tried to carry on as usual, brushing it off as   
“Well, I’m committed to you.”   
To which she replied,   
“Don’t feel obligated. You’re Tony Stark, you don’t belong to anybody.”   
He would growl under his breath but smile reassuringly at her. Trying to parade as though he was happy and was fine with the situation.   
Steve on the other hand would say, “I’m sorry... It’s stupid, it’s selfish of me. I know you’re with Pepper but I just had to tell you.”   
Tony would reply to him knowing for well other women were more than interested in Steve,   
“Sharon likes you, you know.” Passing the blame on was the only thing that he could do since he was practically forced into that position.   
“I don’t want her, I want you... And I’ll wait for you.” Steve would say in a hauntingly calm tone.   
Tony didn’t want to reply with what he was thinking; “You’ll be waiting forever in that case.” That would be far too harsh of him to say but he didn’t want to hurt Steve like that. Instead he just brushed it off with a nod and tried his hardest to engulf himself in work.   
Then it just repeated in his head like a record with a scratch, playing over and over. 

The common mistake that most people made was that Tony Stark was a heartless player, but there was no way that he would break the heart of the two people that he actually cared for. He just needed help; he needed someone to help push him in the right direction. All of his life he’d had to make intense business and life decisions but nothing even compared to this.   
He stood, weakly getting to his feet and touching his hand on the glass pane, watching the drops of water trickle down. He didn’t want to make this choice, it hurt too much. 

He could feel his reactor pulse, hearing a small cracking sound, as though glass had popped. His eyes widened and he pulled open his shirt, gazing down, seeing that his reactor had broken. He didn’t know how but it had. That was practically impossible; it had a crack, a spider web crack and made a strange fizzing sound.   
No no. This was not possible. His reactor is practically indestructible and has survived countless hits, countless jabs and even firearms targeting it.   
He traced his finger over it, wincing as he quickly withdrew his fingers that were covered in blood after being cut from it. The pounding in his head, the aching in his chest. It was too much, he couldn’t even stand straight.   
Tony dropped to his knees, jaw clenched tightly as he tried to fiddle with the reactor.   
This couldn’t be happening.   
His heart had broken, quite literally and he could feel the shrapnel making its way, slowly, slowly to his beating heart.   
“S-Steve... P-epper...” He said as he tapped the small headset that was attached to his ear.   
Quickly they both responded as voices in his ear, “Tony?” They both said in perfect timing.   
“H-help...” Tony said as he fell to his side, his mind trying to figure out what happened and his body recoiling in agony.   
“What happened Tony?!” Steve asked with deep worry,   
“Tony? Tony what’s wrong? Where are you? What happened?” Pepper said with just the same amount of worry,   
“I... I’m dying... My heart... it’s broken... the... reactor...” He paused; did he literally just say that? If they were his last words, they certainly were dramatic. That was unintentional. He meant to say that his heart was in trouble, not that his heart was broken, though that was quite literally the case.   
“Tony?!” They both yelled,   
“I’m on my way.” Steve replied.   
“Tony I’m coming to you!” Pepper yelled, “Just hang on.”   
“Just hang on there!” Steve added.   
Tony shut his eyes, hearing nothing but the pounding of his heart, the thudding of the rain against his window and the loud crash of the thunder clouds above him.   
The first person I see, I’ll give my life to... If I survive this.


End file.
